How do you recognize a calling? Look for one or more of these clues:
1. You feel an unusually vivid pain or frustration around the status quo of a particular issue or topic. You strongly feel or clearly see what’s lacking.
2. You see a powerful vision–vague or clear–about what could be. That vision keeps filling your mind or tugging at your heart.
3. You feel inspired or even compelled to act. You have a mysterious, felt sense of “This work is mine to do.” You feel as if you’ve received an assignment, rather than that you chose the particular task or cause.
4. You find that actually doing the calling is a magical, strengthening process. While your inner critic might show up now and then, and while it’s hard work, you receive energy and a sense of meaning, and rightness, from doing it. You feel a kind of flow while working on it.
And… (these are the most important — and most surprising qualities of a calling)
5. You feel huge resistance. A part of you wants to run the other direction. You feel like the task is huge, and you just couldn’t possibly be up to it. It feels like this upends your plans, and doesn’t quite fit with what is convenient in your life. Keep this in mind: in the archetypal hero’s journey, step 1 is “hearing the call”. Step 2? “Resisting the call.” It’s normal. It’s part of the process. The key is eventually surrendering that resistance and stepping into the calling.
6. You don’t — yet—have everything you need to have to complete it. It’s not just irrational fear talking. It’s the truth. You don’t have everything you need. There is work to do, resources you will need to gather, and things you will need to make happen. That is a part of the beautiful stretch of the calling.
7. You aren’t — yet — the person you need to be to complete the calling. It’s true. It’s not just your inner critic. You aren’t quite up to the task. You don’t have all the qualities and strength you’ll need. And you’ll get them by doing the calling. Callings always grow us in some meaningful way. You will have to evolve, develop new capacities, and show up to life in new ways.
Now that you know about qualities 5, 6, & 7, what looks different in your life? What might you do differently, when it comes to that which you feel called to do?
photo credit: rawpixel
Gosh this was helpful and incredibly encouraging. Thank you! Just what I needed to hear today, and amen to every word.
Hi Tara,
I just spent the morning outlining my book proposal.My business partner coached me through this process and after a while she said, “Wow, you have a lot of angst and frustration built up about this topic” (clue #1). My vision for my book has been building up and getting more and more clear for over a year (clue #2). I am completely convinced this book is mine to write, I must write it, my life will be incomplete if I don’t write it (clue #3). And I’m scared shitless (clue #5). But when I work on any aspect of the book (outlining, visioning, researching), I am in heaven (#4). I don’t have everything I need to write it yet (#6) and I haven’t discovered my authentic voice (#7).
If I wasn’t already signed up for Playing Big, I’d be rushing off to do that now. I can’t wait for this course!!!
With love and anticipation,
Tara
yes yes yes. that’s all i can say.
Tara – thank you for this. I know what my calling and it hit EVERY single point on your seven point list. You are inspiring and I wish you nothing but the best in your new venture. The world will be a better place because you are offering the world your calling…
I came over here from Tara RR’s blog. what a powerful post you’ve written. It confirms what I believe to be my calling (teaching) and the things that make me doubt. Thank you for the encouragement!
This might seem strange (probably not to you)but just an hour before I saw this post I was having an early morning (5a) texting conversation about how do we know this journey that we’re on is our calling? We talked about all seven of these points and we didn’t even know you existed!
That’s what I like to call divine!
Thank you for this on so many levels even I can’t explain them.
Wow, I wish I’d read this five years ago – since I’ve spent those five years giving in to the resistance I’ve felt toward pursuing my calling. I’m finally taking steps now toward it, but I might have done it sooner if I had recognized the resistance as a sign to move towards it rather than away from it.
Number 5–I will meet huge resistance! You mean this is normal? Thank you, thank you for that. I thought it was just me. why is that resistance so much easier to believe and obey than the push forward?
Tara, you are most definitely an inspiring woman! There are so many days when I want to simply ignore Twitter due to seemingly constant nonsense, but something told me to read my timeline today & there was an article tweeted in which you were interviewed by BigThink about fear. Literally compelled to click, now here I am, finding myself in awe of your powerful words for which I am very grateful.
Wow. A huge wow. All this time I have been interpreting resistance as my logical voice telling my idealistic side that I am on the wrong track. Thank you for moving me off dead-center!
there would be another way of saying this i believe a sick sense…and i certainly have that…beautiful words. thanks for sharing.
Timing is everything. I spent last evening with my daughter at a university fair. She seeks her calling. Maybe this will help.
Hi Tara,
I found you via The Girl Effect, and I am telling you what they say is true! When the student is ready (although, as like some of the articles you have written, I don’t ever feel totally READY) the teacher appears. I cannot WAIT to register for your course when it comes available, but for now I am inhaling everything on your website, and I have never ever been so inspired, and had so many ah HAH moments reading anything. And I have shelves upon shelves of self help inspiring books!
Thank you, Tara, for all that you do for women!
The first clue resonated with me a lot. I discovered my purpose when I found myself repeatedly becoming frustrated with the lack I always noticed.
Hi Tara,
#5 (resistance) and #7 (stretching) really speak to me! Your clarity on these elements gives encouragement and confidence. Thank you!
As I sit here revising my website for the 15th time in the months, trying to summon up enough courage to let one focus of my career go, and fully commit to another, I felt blurry about the details, but clear about the message. I almost took the middle “safe route” to avoid the courage of committing and the grief of letting go.
Reading your article, specifically number 5, 6 and 7 reminded me of the necessity of the hero’s journey.
Hey Tara – you made my day with points 5,6 and 7. I badly wanted a dose like this for my calling (feel part time opportunities at a professional cadre will help young mothers lead satisfied lives by balancing both work and home). Thanks much again…
these words have really inspired me and am glad to know now that am pursuing my calling no matter what it takes
Love this and may God bless you Tara i am in Africa where most of dreams are found in the Grave yard because of all the mistakes of backwardness which affect women as well as men and i am hopeful that mine will be fulfilled thanks
Thank you Tara and ladies for your heartfelt, inspiring, and encouraging messages. I often feel both “blurry and clear” about my purpose as well. Truly I feel renewed.
This is such an inspirational site; I really appreciate your messages, Tara! I’m actually one of those women who seems “powerful” to others, but it’s such a daily challenge! I especially liked this section. Thank you thank you.
How you write this out? Do you have magical powers? Just kidding, wonderful article, hit me at #5!
This has been so helpful to me Tara — a big thank you to you for your kindness and inspiration. I’ve been struggling with a big career decision for years and this is just what I needed to hear. All the best to you and your readers.
OMG..you are heaven sent! i’ve been saying a lot lately, “if the universe gave me all this talent, why am i not able to make a living at it” and “if i could only get out of my own way”…wow…your post just helped me relieve all the frustration i’ve been feeling lately. that this is all normal stuff i’m going thru…i am on the right path!! thanks SO, so much for your post!
Thank you for shsring your wisdom and knowledge. Intellectually, I know that I am vascilating and that it’s due to fear. In my case, my husband is extremely fearful of the future, something I identified in his father’s character..He continuously reminds me that “the world is coming to an end”. My passion is healing and teaching but between my doubts of practicality and his daily reminder that our world is coming to an end, drains.
Thank you for describing the dance so clearly and reminding me that I’m not alone. This alone fires up Soul and courage…
Happy to have found you via a link on 99u. This is a great post, makes me glad to know I’m not alone =)
Hi Tara,
Awesome site.
Quick question.
I feel like I have a calling and this thing REALLY pissed me off. In fact I pretty much finished writing a book on it on my iphone.
However, its very depressing and makes me angry. I like to focus on things that make me happy 🙂 – What do you suggest?
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