Two months ago, I read this quote from writer Elizabeth Gilbert:
Traditionally, women have always made their art out of stolen materials and stolen time.
Those words have made the biggest difference in my life.
You see, I thought it was a problem that I was writing in bits of stolen time. I thought that I had to somehow get back to that pre-motherhood existence when not only did I have hours of uninterrupted time to write, but more importantly, I had an alert mind (imagine that!) oriented mostly around writing and the preparation for it – observing the world and listening to the aha moments and emotional currents of my inner life.
And (forgive me) I thought my problem was somehow a new one. I forgot the real history of women’s lives and fell into that pumped-by-the-media version of the story: that women have only been trying to combine work and family life for a few decades, so it’s all so new, so complicated, so iffy whether it can work out…(Of course, the truth is women have been doing the juggle in one way or another for millennia.)
Then I read “Traditionally, women have always made their art out of stolen materials and stolen time. ”
And suddenly I became part of a great legacy of women who had been stealing bits of time, writing at kitchen tables instead of desks, scribbling notes whenever they could, and most of all writing anyway.
Writing anyway.
Painting anyway. Composing music anyway. Dancing anyway. Working on their callings and dreams and labors of love anyway. Fill in the line for you. What is life asking you to attend to, in stolen bits of time?
For me, neither childcare, nor mornings for writing at the cafe, nor times of turning the music up so I don’t hear what is happening in the other parts of the house, changes what has fundamentally changed about my life, my focus, my new divided consciousness. But as I learn to do my art in the most “imperfect” of conditions (imperfect as defined by artist dudes with no childcare responsibilities) I remember millions of women who came before me doing the same, and I can exhale. I can remember, thanks to Liz, that what I am doing is more typical than unusual, more an age-old reality than a contemporary predicament. And that reframing changes everything.
What would change for you if you really embraced making your art or working on your dream during stolen time? If you embraced it could happen that way?
photo credit: Nathan Dumlao
Tara,
I absolutely loved this post, thank you… (she writes, in a moment of stolen time).
Casey Erin Wood xo
Tara, I didn’t understand what you meant until I read further into the article. Now, for me, this is also life-changing. No more putting off writing until all the stars are aligned just right and everything is perfect. I’m now challenging myself to write something everyday – no matter what – until my masterpiece is finished during my stolen moments and stolen time. Thank you for this great, inspiring post.
Tara,
Thank you so much. I’m at a point where I want to give up the ‘fight’ to keep creativity amidst life’s demands. It was a relief to read your post, because I had been aiming for all or nothing, and feeling like I failed myself because that’s not what I’m able to do right now with my creative work. So thanks again, my struggle is lessened, knowing I am not alone and that broken time is good enough.
Haha, you focused on the stolen time part. I zeroed in on the stolen materials part. I don’t mean that I’m a thief. But I have made countless things out of other things, so they were figuratively ‘stolen’ from their original purpose. Or ‘stolen’ from the trash or the side of the road. Or ‘stolen’ as in a real bargain at a thrift store, or seriously on sale somewhere. While others may have access to the best materials to make art, your post has suddenly made me very grateful for my RESOURCEFULNESS. This is to every artist out there who doesn’t possess the means to buy supplies. I have transformed entire spaces with roadside branches and scraps of fabric. NEVER let a lack of funds stop you. Look around! Make art!
Hi Tara, what a lovely post, it took me back to six years ago, after my daughter was born, and I was learning just how much becoming a mother was affecting my ability to control my time. Felicity.
Great post, Tara.
For all of you in the thick of parenting, I want you to know it will all get done. You will find the time and energy to create your dreams. It may not look like much now…craft projects instead of canvases or poems scribbled on Kleenex instead of essays or singing and dancing along with Sesame Street ….but it will form and reform and emerge into the art you envision.
Once I had only the corner of my bedroom, now I have a studio, a kiln and a pottery wheel. I’ve sold work, been in galleries and taught workshops. I have a website, thanks to my talented son, now grown. I’m not saying this to brag, but to give you a glimmer of a possible future which will be brighter, I’m sure.
I’d say rather than stolen moments, they are moments found.
Absolutely!
Stolen time is how I’ve been creating for nearly a decade now.
I can’t believe my baby is nearly nine already…and her lil’ sis already four.
That divided consciousness is such a gift…to be fully present in love + mama~ing + LIFE. And, to create from our hearts + shine our soul in the world.
Oh the sweet joys of this being a woman + mother + creator.
How I love Elizabeth Gilbert’s wisdom…and your beautiful reflection. Tara.
Here’s wishing you a sacred + beautiful journey growing your lil love as you steal time to share your heart with the world.
Love + Hugs,
Denise
This has been so true for me as I struggle to balance life and work with a new toddler, we adopted her in January. I have an older son and didn’t really need to “steal” moments for work and going back to toddlerhood has been a bit of a shock. This article really helps validate to me that it’s ok to use these little moments…I think I get hung up with the “balance” and thinking that I can only get some things done at a certain time of the day. It’s also that brain division of mum and work – I think I’m slowly figuring out our new routine and when is best to do what…but as Elizabeth Gilbert said we’re not the first women to deal with this and I know women that have more children, more responsibilities and it helps me to keep perspective and that I can sort this out, it will get done, maybe just not smoothly or quickly…and I will need more sleep:)
thank you. you manage to touch on something so simply, yet so meaningful. it can be done.
Thanks for this Tara,
For years I’ve had a voice telling me I am “behind”…behind in what I could have done or produced, feeling behind in my history. I had children early and felt behind on my first career. I started a new career in my fifties and thought ” Am I twenty years behind?” THERE IS NO END TO THIS THINKING OR RELEIF! Thanks for pointing us to “stolen time”. The gift is in knowing everything is happening in “perfect” timing, no comparisons needed and making the most of each of my finite moments in this body! YES!
What a powerful shift in perception! Sometimes I can feel as though my work is not valid if it’s not done with an underlying sense of proactivity. The reality is, though, often times I have deadlines, things to get done, and stuff to juggle. And, I have to sneak my work in here and there and put out a few fires in between. What a great reminder that that’s okay. *exhale* Thanks, Tara! 🙂
Dear Tara,
Whew. So happy I landed here today. I have discovered quite a few things in my stolen time and one of them is that, like you say, I am not alone. This comfort has given me courage to write, create events, teach, publish an anthology of 36 women’s writing and art and continue to develop my thoughts about motherhood and creativity. I would love to intersect with you more. Happy to subscribe to you here. xo Suzi
Dear Tara,
I love so much all the articles you send through, as your perceptions are very similiar to mines. I also learnt a lot from you for my life. This article is especially close to me as I have a 3-years-old daughter, and it was exactly the same as you write. I used every free minute between feeding the baby, bringing to bed or playing with her to do something for myself and for my own development. The most fascinating thing is that since my daughter was born I achieved and learnt much more during the stolen moments than I did before when I had all the time for me. It concerns both my career and my passion in music.
Hi Tara
Reading this post this morning was very timely. I have been silently lamenting how each day had only very small pockets of where I could focus on my work. This gives me a different perspective and I am going to run with it !
Thank you !
Adore this! This has totally been my life since I had my first son 7 years ago. Stolen time is the perfect way to put it. It has been a difficult thing to accept for me, and it still becomes a frustration until I remind myself to surrender! Thanks for the reminder, I needed it right now especially!
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Hey…for me it’s a little different because I have a lot of time to write focus..I’m in perfect time posistion for writing…the point is to give yourself the permission to write…even if it’s ideas or suggestions for future writes. Key is the balancing of time to finish what you write in it’s completion…task well focused…that way you don’t have to sneak the time. Clever writing.
I just stopped by to read this for a second time. It’s 5:46 am. I’ve been working since 4:30 am. Gotta get up and write while I’m fresh and bebe is asleep. Helps to remember that I’m living in a tradition when I do this. Thank you.
Thank you for so elegantly wording the daily struggle so that it becomes an honour, not a trial. x