Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about this big idea:
The task of our time is just not to help women participate in positions of power.
The task is to empower women to transform the communities and institutions of which they are a part.
The task is not just to help women participate in the system as it is, but to enable women to transform it.
And here’s the thing I think and am scared to say:
In a world shaped by masculine consciousness (which I’d argue politics, business, and our major systems still are), every woman who does her work with authenticity is a force for change.
Yes, every woman who does her work with authenticity is a force for change. That means you.
A visionary. A change agent. A rebel.
I know maybe you didn’t sign up for that, but if you are really showing up, you’ll be a force for change because the questions, ways of working, and ideas you’ll be bringing into the arena at work will be quite different from what’s already there.
It’s as if the status quo of your industry/workplace/community has long been blue and now you are showing up with red.
Okay, that’s big. Let’s just breathe through that one for a sec.
Of course, being a force for change entails struggle:
the times when it feels like your new way of thinking is as small as the head of a pin, and the status quo is a MOUNTAIN
the times when you have to face your fears of being seen as naive, stupid, or crazy for your ideas and ideals
the times when the desire for change burns so intensely in your heart and you try to figure out, “how do I follow that burning while there are the kids and the aging parents to take care of, not to mention the laundry?”
Rather than getting lost in that heaping pile of overwhelm (which feels kinda like that heaping pile of dirty laundry, doesn’t it?) today, let’s refocus on the simple stuff:
You are a force for change. Struggle – and amazing moments – go with the territory. You are not alone. You are actually in the company of millions of fabulous women, who, just like you, are in the struggle of trying to at the same damn time make change and fit in enough to be allowed to make that change. We’re all up to that together.
What’s one of the things you would most like to see transformed in your company, community or industry? Think about it for a minute, and then tell us in the comments.
Love,
Tara
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“The task is to empower women to transform the communities and institutions of which they are a part.”
Incredible. There are so many amazing women who are doing amazing work, and have a unique perspective. I only wish more of them would share that perspective.
I would like to see more women in our technical/engineering leadership – part of this is due to the level of experience in the female workforce. For example when I was hired I was one of the few women. There are many more now, but they have less experience than me. I would like to see more women stand up and demonstrate leadership, and be given the opportunity to do so.
Tara, I know you hear this all the time, but: wow. You continue to give me such inspiring thoughts! I want to see the definition of beauty transformed in my industry. That’s what we’re all about! Beauty is so much bigger (pun intended!) than we’re lead to believe, and more importantly, than we’re given to see in media. Beauty is open to everyone, and we’re here to encourage women to dress like the fabulous (and beautiful) babes they are.
Your Big Idea is radical, wonderful and important. Women living authentically ARE transforming the world. The opening sentence of Grandmother Power is “Insurgent grandmothers are fighting the status quo…” and so can we all. Your blog post lifts my heart and inspires me all over again. Thank you, Tara!
I am new to your blog and I am already loving everything you post!
Your writing style is clear and to the point while being so inspiring. It truly gets the gears in my brain going 🙂
I am in a technical career and I would love to climb the leadership ladder as Anne commented. I just finish my first year at work after graduate school and I am trying to figure out how to continue growing in my field and personally.
I would like to see us put our money where our mouth is. We want cleaner air, healthier children and environments but we push push push the old ways of thinking. Being a single mom in a male-dominated patriarchal society I see how it is set up for us to fail and new thinking is the only way to move forward for a better, fairer and more just society. I want to love my children and work. I want to succeed in life and in my relationships. There can no longer be a disconnect between our personal and our professional lives.
I’d love to see less blaming at my work place. We are all working toward the same goal and it’s about team work. But most of the time, working as teams becomes “I have done my part, you failed to do X, Y, Z…”
I become irritated when the same people who made sure they were not to blame make solving the problem even more difficult by turning so defensive that it is difficult to have a conversation with them.
Bringing additional frustration to the table, I end up feeling not that I am a force for change but just another stagnant component.
Tara, thank you for this post this morning. It is just what I needed to hear. I’m giving a talk today that is frightening me. I’m going to dare to reveal who I am and be seen by a room of 50 women. Yikes. This is me feeling of fear of looking bad, too dramatic, too intense, too something. However it is me. I appreciate your support, encouragement and challenge to transform something today in my work and my industry.
My talk is about the abuse that we have suffered in our lives, how to overcome those experiences and live your extraordinary life. This is my passion and my life’s work. And it means that I have to reveal and show up with my full self.
Thank you in advance for witnessing me. Love Ciel.
Power post, Tara!
The transformation I want to see is for compassion to becomes a core cultural value.
As Jean Houston said on Super Soul Sunday when Oprah asked her to complete the sentence, “The world needs…”
“The world needs the sense that we are all in it together.”
I believe that this is one of the keys to unlocking the solutions to some of our most challenging personal, national, and global problems.
Thank you Tara, and thanks for all the thoughtful comments. This morning I woke and prayed that I may live an authentic life and here is your piece, validating its need. I would like to see greater compassion in the workplace, as simple, as being courteous, rather than sharp/witty which seems to dominate. I would hope for true work/balance, pro-active rather than reactive management, planning allows for time to be used more efficiently.
I was born with a male body, but feel like I’m a woman in every way. All of my friends are women, many who attend women’s support groups with me. The conversational topics I prefer to engage in are undeniably feminine. I’m a hard worker and a team player, but I cry inside when in the work environment, I don’t feel like I can wear dresses, makeup, a pretty hairstyle, or use the women’s restroom. (I’m totally encouraging of women who feel more comfortable in suits, ties, etc. who would be more comfortable using the men’s restrooms. I love how you’ve put this, Denise. “Beauty is open to everyone, and we’re here to encourage women to dress like the fabulous (and beautiful) babes they are.”
You go girl. We’re all cheering you on. All the best.
I would like to see less egoist women around me who are very much concerned that they are the center of the world and begging for attention and doing anything to get that. Some peaceful and unjealous women who use their power to create instead of to destroy. I think before getting into the authenticity issue we need more awakened people who are willing to work arm to arm and spread the kindness and soften their hearts. I do not know if it is asking for too much but there is a big communication gap between women.
I love this, Britt!
Tara, thank you for the most inspiring post!
I feel like you read my thoughts :-).
I’m going through a very tough time as a single mother in the middle of a divorce and unemployed for 6 months.. Lost two jobs in two years because my two previous male bosses were trying to make up at work for their personal insecurities within their families…
I feel so lost right now like I’m not good at anything…
I lost my self-confidence, I’m afraid not to find a job and also if I find it, I’m afraid to be laid off again…
I don’t want to go back into the “corporate hell” with its politics and back-stabbing and vanity. But I don’t think I can find a job in a non-corporate world that would pay enough for me to support my son and myself…
Still paying for my MBA student loan…
Your words gave me hope. I want to find meaningful work outside the corporate box with a company whose values I can share not on paper but in real life, and which will share my values of life-work balance and respect for single working moms, who are trying to making a difference for their children and as a result for the world itself.
The power of telling your story allows you to connect deeply with and help others who I’m sure all have their own imperfect stories to tell. The power to choose a different story for the rest of your life is the most compelling of all.
Thank you for being strong and an example to us all.
Thank you Tara. I think compassion, that a few of you have already mentioned, is the key. And i think school is the place to start – i would like to see compassion replace competitiveness in schools. X
My own goal is to bring person-centered care to communities where elders live together, be it senior foster care, assisted living, or independent living with supports from family or community. This goal applies to other venues too, because the bottom line for this goal is to serve the best interest of the client, as opposed to the bottom line or profit margin of the business.
Through committing to doing the right thing, we serve the integrity of the community we are working in, and by fostering the well being of the people we serve, we learn to put our own agenda aside and empower the other to express their most empowered and supported being. For service industries this empowerment creates health, boosts immune support, and increases vitality.
I envision a day when health care follows a holistic approach, available for all people at every age and stage of life, driven by heart-centered, patient-centered care, rather than pharmaceutical and insurance companies.
Thanks Tara , its really inspiring. It assures “I am not alone”… Well said Anne and Josie. But nowdays in a “male dominated” tech industry ,its getting political rather than technical to grow up in Engineering and technical fields.
Thanks, Hope (:
I dream of a world where breastfeeding is the norm and not unusual – especially for those of us returning to the workforce. Why so much trouble – could anything be more natural. I think its’ threatening because it is so exclusively female. Tara – thanks as always for your thought provoking ideas and posts.
Hi Tara,
I find your ideas inspiring. I often wait to open your email because I want time to digest the concepts you are writing about. I am a doctor, raised 5 kids, (the youngest still at home, age 15), and I work almost full time. Thank you for your insight. Keep up the good work. If you are ever in Baltimore, let me know.
Lynn
I’d like to see more recognition for a job well done, not just in my office, but in my profession as a whole. I’ve worked in my field for 10 years and in every office there is 1 person — just one — who gives praise where praise is due. Surprisingly, that 1 person has usually turned out to be a male in every workplace. I’d like to see women step up and begin to support “the team” with words of praise and encouragement.
Tara, my dear – thank you so much, this is exactly what I needed so much to read, to hear, and to believe as possible.
I would like all the caring/nurturing and creative professions (e.g. cleaners, nurses, home carers, teachers, artists, dancers, musicians… there are many more) to be more highly valued in three main ways:
Firstly through direct recognition through higher rates of pay. This could be funded by a voluntary conscience based passing on of wealth from those professions which are traditionally paid higher salaries (for example those in legal/monetary/left-brain occupations such as IT)
Secondly, and just as importantly (this could even start before the first as necessary) through recognising the importance of these people in our daily lives. An example in any workplace would be including your cleaner in team meetings which discuss and formulate company mission statements [and don’t forget to pay them for their time]. The benefit of this was felt when my husband was in hospital: the ward sister included the cleaning staff in her morning meetings even though they are contracted through another company. She gave them the time and licence to talk to patients whilst providing them with a cup of tea or coffee. This meant that patients were more relaxed, required less pain medication and healed more quickly because their stress levels were reduced.
This brings me on to the third way – that we stop thinking that faster is better, that more efficient is better and remember the value of taking our time and stopping to smell the roses. That we allow our sense of time to be suspended whilst contemplating a work of art or listening to beautiful music or simply listen to another person without judging.
A friend of a friend [Charles Matthews, he works in IT] once said:
“What I do makes some aspects of life easier
Whereas doctors, nurses, teachers et al make life possible.
Artists, musicians, poets, writers – they make life worth living.”
I forgot to say – Thank you yet again Tara for providing such inspiration. I feel supported and nurtured by your words – they make such a difference and you have made me feel valuable today and enabled me to value myself and what I do.
Dear Tara, a great question – one of the things – and I love all those mentioned here – I would most like to see transformed is that we learn to truly listen, from the recognition that none of us is an island, that none of us can affect change on her own, that we are entirely interdependent. It’s such an obvious truth and yet it is so routinely ignored. Thank you for your spirit!
Well said Tara! It bothers me to be sensitive to criticism to the point that it prevents me from moving forward with an idea. In the moment I can feel the wind come out of my sails, and I stop to rehash through the same old checklist of, “Am I doing the right thing?”. When everything checks off, I regroup, gather my strength and pick up where I left off until the next word of criticism sends me into another cycle of doubt and second-guessing. Am I scurrying for safety as you suggest, or am I being too collaborative by giving anyone permission to have a say in my journey. What can I do to put up the hand in the moment, to say, “I’m listening but I’m not stopping here.”? Interesting questions for me to think about.
YES! Thank you for asking, Tara…your words are wise and powerful and remind me to continue living a revolution, questioning everything and being exactly who I am.
So many revolutions and shifts are happening and I am ever grateful to be a part of…yoga movement for peace, education revolution for individualized learning (unschooling for my family!), creating a wellness model of care for all people, and encouraging people to LIVE HAPPY…one breath at a time!
It’s exciting to be alive at this time and to be part of such massive change for the good!
LOOK at all of these women with FORCE behind their actions! Game changers …
Thanks Tara for this …
Tara – I would like to see us develop our intuition. With a connection to ourselves, our divine nature, our bodies, each other and the planet, we will nourish a beautiful world together. Much love, Christina
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I find that I have run into a handful of people who feel it’s necessary to ask me my age when I tell them about the work I do. I’m older than I look, but many people still ask perhaps because of my “baby face.” I was really annoyed about it after a while because it seemed like they were invalidating me based upon the amount of time I have been alive rather than for the merit of what I had to offer. I think some people have made me out to be naïve, stupid or crazy just by that one judgment about my age, not to mention other ridiculous factors. I want to see a lot of transformation (I don’t even know where to start in these comments alone), and I think one of the first things we can do collectively is to let our guards and critical minds fall to the wayside. That closed mindedness is perpetuating the arrogance of a masculine-driven, head conscious world.