We’ve all got many voices in our heads. Quite often, the quality of our lives and the quality of our leadership depends on which voice we listen to.
One voice chatters about what’s wrong with us. “You will say something stupid.” “You are fat.” “You are a bad mother.” “If that was a good idea someone else would have thought of it already.” You know this voice. Fill in the blank with what it says to you.
Here are ten things I know about that voice:
1. It prevents brilliant women from sharing their ideas and stepping up into leadership. And by doing that, it prevents all of us from living in the more just, sane, loving, sustainable world those women would create.
2. That voice doesn’t exist in you because your mom didn’t give you enough this or that in childhood, or because there’s something wrong with you. It exists in you because you are human. Get a body, you’ll get an inner critic too.
3. The inner critic’s goal is to keep you safe from any possible harm, rejection, and even any joy. It likes the numbed-out comfort zone.
4. Whenever you reach an edge of your comfort zone, your inner critic will speak up, loudly.
5. It is a wild liar. It has no bias for truth-telling. It says whatever it thinks might make you leap right back into the cozy territory of the familiar.
6. Getting angry at that voice usually doesn’t work.
7. Arguing with that voice (“No, I really can do this! I can!) also usually doesn’t work.
8. There’s no workshop, therapist, pill, or upper arm workout that eliminates self-doubt over the long-term. We can’t be cured of it, but we can learn how to quiet it and act from a different part of ourselves.
9. What works is to name the voice for what it is (“Oh, I’m hearing my inner critic now,”), remember it doesn’t tell the truth, and take action in line with our aspirations – not in line with our self-doubts.
10. It’s possible to learn to hear the inner critic’s voice chattering away and to respond to it with wisdom—to not heed it, to not believe it. It is possible to locate a different voice inside, one that can lead you to what you want. We really can learn to listen to that voice instead.
Love,
Tara
The other voice leads to creativity, creation, and personal power.
Thanks.
You are amazing! I love the positive affirmations.
Thank you!
Hello..to everyone.There’s a lot to say about this subject..the inner voice or the critics voice’…and how to develop the outside voice..not to confuse with the spiritual inner voice which you develop with God in the spiritual arena, for spiritual growth. It took sometime for me to develop my outside voice, inside voice which is your thinking and speaking voice, like written dialogue. Developing confidence in which to think and speak which leads into the ultimate of
positive action which is based through positive learning. Developing confidence is so important, in which we need daily direction..I call it the voice of confidence. Self esteem building direction and tips from Tara will help…thankyou
I love this post, Tara! I would love to buy your book, too, but it’s not available as ebook?
I travel a lot and can’t always take the book I want to with me.
Please consider it!
Taking the CD is not an option, as only have my iPad with me…
Thanks!
Hi Tara,
I’m loving your book. Such helpful information about the inner critic. I find that when I’m really going for something big in my life the inner critic is the loudest – so I’m learning to hear this as a sign I’m doing something worthwhile!
Thanks again,
Jaclyn