I have a new article up at Huffington Post today, and as you’ll sense when you read the words, I’m passionate about this topic. Click HERE to read the article, “Women: Stop Calling Yourselves Controlling.” If it speaks to you, please share with others, or leave a comment with your thoughts!
Hugs to you all –
Tara
My Latest at Huff Post
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Ms. Mohr, In your piece in the Huffington Post, you made the statment that the term “controlling” was rarely applied to men. It is hard to think of a more ignorant and/or intellectually dishonest statement. That term is *frequently* applied to men (sometimes rightly, of course) by individual women and by numerous books and articles. I can only conclude that you, in keeping with contemporary ideological feminism, are committed to propagating a continued misandric victim mythology for women.
Hi Tara,
I’m not sure I agree that the word controlling is gendered, per se. I do agree, however, that when a woman labels herself as controlling, it’s often a euphemism for setting boundaries or expressing preferences, both of which are perfectly healthy, fine things to do.
The times that I’ve thought of myself as “too controlling” have been when I was trying to do everything, not asking for help, assuming I had to go it alone. In that case, letting go of so much control was a very good thing to do.
Thanks again for the thought provoking post.
With love,
Tara
Fascinating article that gave me some new insights about control, Tara. I’ve never thought about the gender angle before and will have to ponder that more. For my clients, though, control shows up in a different way: feeling stuck and holding themselves back from risk because they can’t know or control the outcome. Of course, none of us ever does know exactly how our actions will play out. But these days, in a world that often seems chaotic and confusing, I’m having many more conversations about finding a way back to hope and trust, and the necessity of letting go of some control (but not all, certainly) in order to get there.
I think Tara made some excellent points and touched the root of the problem: controlling is all about fear and trying to prevent from being hurt in any way. I was not aware of the latest fashion. I do agree that not everything we do when wanting to assert ourselves is “controlling”. The difference must be done between the two so that a healthy desire for accomplishment and assertion is not seen as a sin. Thank you for your excellent article Tara.