The Rush Limbaugh Sandra Fluke controversy rages on.
I’ve been thinking about it a lot this week — feeling inspired by the successful consumer activism that is causing advertisers to take a stand. I’ve been thinking about what makes someone say offensive and demeaning things about another human being – and what makes other people tune in to listen to those works. The incident has also got me thinking about the term “slut” — just thinking about it, and researching its origin.
“Slut” originally simply meant “dirty” (way back in 1400). There was a period where a messy corner in your house was called “slutty.” No joke. The term came to be associated with promiscuous women in part because prostitutes in the 15th century were literally “dirty” – very poor and without access to basic hygiene.
In 2012, what role is there for the term? We know that women make sexual choices out of a sense of empowerment or disempowerment, and we know that their choices don’t make them either “clean” or “dirty.” So what role remains for this word?
In thinking about that, earlier this week I tweeted “Let’s just abolish the term slut. Born 1402, died 2012.” That tweet seemed to strike a huge chord — people shared it all day. I’m writing more about that at Huffington Post here today, here. I’m getting hate email about this article already! (Good sign?) I invite you to come on by and share your thoughts.
And, on a very different note, I’ve got some lovely, small-scale, soul nurturing events coming up. Please see below if you are interested in attending.
Love,
Tara
There are just four spots left in my April 14-15 Playing Big two day workshop at the San Francisco coast. This is the first time I’m taking the Playing Big material into a small-group, weekend workshop format. You can learn more about it here.
On April 1, I’ll be leading two workshops in Seattle – a morning workshop on “Finding and Freeing Your Inner Writer” and an afternoon workshop on “Playing Bigger in Your Work and in Your Life.” I have a special fondness for the Pacific Northwest and it’s culture – I’m really looking forward to this gathering. Click here to learn more and to register.
It would be a wonderful step forward, but I believe that for all our pride and commitment to freedom and individuality, we still are a misogynistic society – one of our nasty secrets. Look at some of the other things this media personality spouts on a continuing basis, terms like “feminazi” and the like. He makes his living on controversy, hate and arrogance, basically daring people to step into his fray so they can be pilloried some more for being weak, thin skinned or worse. I wish I knew what the answer was, but mostly we need to work to make ourselves, and all the girls and women in our lives believe in themselves and their choices, possibilities and decisions.
Hate mail ?! Doesn’t that just say it all? While it is tempting to want to hate right back, we know on a fundamental level hate can’t conquer hate.
I am going to re-commit to working hard to move towards reslience for myself and the women/girls in my life
I feel this as so right … and I would like to quote one beatuful thought that I’ve read and seems to be in harmony with this very powerful headline.
“WE ARE ALREADY LIVING OUR FUTURE. ALL OF OUD DREAMS, EXCEPT THOSE BASED ON PREJUDICE WILL GET THE CHANCE TO BE FULLLFILED. WHAT IS IMPORTANT WILL PERSIST, WHAT IS IRRELEVANT WILL DISAPPEAR”
Thank You Tara for bringing that seed of thruth to light, I pray that it’ll grow and believe that it’s to time for our society to let go of that.
Tara:
I completely agree! Thanks for your wisdom on this topic. As always, I really enjoy your insights and writing. I hope to someday make one of your retreats. Do you know anyone with your similar “style” here in the DC area? Coming up short around here for women leaders like you!
Warmly,
Anne
Thank you so much, Tara, for your empowering eloquence. I found the following sentence so power-packed and truth/love-packed that it stunned me!… “We know that women make sexual choices out of a sense of empowerment or disempowerment, and we know that their choices don’t make them either “clean” or “dirty.”” How far-reaching is that! You pretty much summed it up right there. Thank you!!
There is never any justification for using a derogatory term to describe a woman.
Hate email? About an article suggesting that we retire a derogatory word? I find that even more disturbing than Rush Limbaugh somewhat predictably choosing to say something inflammatory on his radio program. Have we lost the ability to engage in civil discourse? Can we no longer disagree with one another? Is it not possible to hate an idea or a word or a position, without hating the person who promotes the hated idea, uses the hated word or espouses a hated position? I hope not, but I do fear that these skills are undervalued. It make me even more mindful of my own need to cultivate listening skills. And my intention to enter every conversation seeking first to understand and second to be understood. That can be difficult for someone who, frankly, likes to be right. But by making the effort, I like to think I’m doing a small part to diffuse the hatred, fear and anger.