When I was 16 years old, I told my parents: I need to go away for the weekend, by myself. “I need reflection time” I told them.
Hey, other teens had other demands. This was how growing independence manifested in a kid interested in personal development.
My mom was not going to let her 16 year-old daughter stay overnight somewhere random on her own, (good move, mom) but she remembered one place she thought she could send me, and made a call.
I remember her explaining: “There’s a place called Green Gulch Zen Center, a zen retreat center. People who are training to be zen monks stay there, and they have places for short-term guests too. How about that?”
A few weeks later, I drove to the beautiful coast just north of San Francisco, and pulled into the long, dirt driveway of Green Gulch. Tall trees, gorgeous green mountains, calming gardens, and a fifteen minute trail walk to stunning beach.
That was the first of many personal retreats I’ve taken there. I’ve gone there when I need to get away, when I need white space, when I need to return myself. I think we all can benefit from a place like this – a retreat place – in our lives.
The food I ate there changed my concept of food – forever. If you want to taste some amazing vegetables, try ones that zen monks are growing as part of their spiritual practice. If you want to taste amazing bread, try some that someone kneaded and baked as part of their meditation practice. I learned how good simple, healthy foods can taste. I also learned what it’s like to relate to food in a non-compulsive way, because when I was there – in the peace of that place and I suppose in the peace of myself, my whole relationship to food changed – for the much, much better.
About a decade after that first retreat I had my bridal shower there. (Well, my alternative bridal shower/ritual/gathering thing.) It was pretty funny to watch my girlfriends – a gregarious bunch on any day – and even more so when they haven’t seen each other in a while – try to obey the rules and spend the first ten minutes of the meal in silence together.
I hope that, if you can, you’ll join me for a fall weekend retreat at Green Gulch, and that if you can’t, you’ll plan, in your own way, some kind of retreat for yourself this summer or fall. How can you unplug, regain perspective, nurture yourself, and slow down into stillness?
There is a reason that all spiritual traditions have a role for retreat – for more intensive, immersive periods of focused work – as well as everyday, shorter-duration practices. Retreat allows us to go deeper, and to bring the riches of that travel back into our everyday lives.
Also, a word on logistics for my retreat: There are still doubles available as well as commuter spots. Commuter spots are great if 1) you live in the Marin area…. 2) you have a friend who does or 3) you want to stay in a single room (aka no roommate) at the adorable Pelican Inn right next to the retreat center.
As for doubles…I know, if you are like me, the having a stranger as a roommate thing feels kinda weird. Rest assured I’ll be gathering data on things like…”what time do you like to go to bed?” and stuff like that to help make good matches. I even like to do a little homework on attendees and match them up with a roommate I think they’ll enjoy getting to know. More on the retreat is HERE.
Hugs,
Tara
