It’s a little thing, but it’s a big thing: the word “just.”
“I just want to add something.”
“I just have a question.”
“I just think that we are going about this the wrong way.”
Compare how those sentences sound to how these sound:
“I want to add something.”
“I have a question.”
“I think we are going about this the wrong way.”
Which set feels more powerful? More energized? And in which case do you assume something important and interesting is about to come next?
“Just” is a little thing. A short word. 4 letters. A casual part of our speech. But it’s also a big thing, because it’s one of the subtle, hard-to-notice, everyday ways we undermine ourselves, shrink down what we have to offer, and appear to be apologizing simply for having something to say.
Time to drop the “justs.” And that’s just one of 8 speech patterns I see women using all the time that really undermine themselves. And yes, I use them too. All 8. But because I’m aware of them, I use them less and less each year.
I outline those 8 ways I keep hearing women — myself included — undermining ourselves with their our words here, in my latest article at Huffington Post. I’m delighted that today it’s being featured on the Women’s Career and Money page.
Please come on over and read, comment and share the article with others.
Hugs,
Tara
Undermining Ourselves with Our Words – My Latest at Huff Post
Thank you for this article. I use many of the speech patterns you described. What’s interesting is that I started using them because I’ve been told over my entire career that I’m too direct and had to soften my language. Of course, the affect of softening my language lessened any perceived authority.